Say What? - Part 1

Did You Get It?

When something is really important, when you absolutely have to be sure - like confirming the time a crucial product will be delivered to your project - what do you do? Think about it . . . What are you willing to risk if you miss the deadline?

We tend to treat communication about things that are really critical differently than just casual conversation. Where we get into trouble is when one of the parties communicating doesn't THINK it is important at the time (or if they are intentionally trying to be vague).

One of my favorite examples of someone forcing clarity in an important conversation is in the movie "The Specialist" where the mafia boss - Joe Leon, played by Rod Steiger, tells his son - Thomas Leon, played by Eric Roberts-- to agree to stay out of a business matter:

"I no hear you say OK - OK?"


After trying to avoid the question, Thomas finally responds:


"OK"---

Not quite the same ring as the Godfather's "Make him an offer he can't refuse", but the same intended severity. Mafia movies tend to show very serious repercussions for not following the directives of the "Boss" - ultimate accountability.

------In real life, we have to find other ways to get buy-in and hold people accountable.

Listen Carefully

If you have ever played the campfire game (or for my daughter, after-dinner-table game) "Telephone", where one person whispers a phrase into the ear of another and they pass it to the next, etc, --you know that the message gets pretty garbled by the time it gets to the end - to humorous effect. Unless you're trying to keep yourselves entertained, mixed-up messages aren't very useful.

An often-underappreciated part of effective communication, is to make sure you are hearing what is being communicated to you:

1. What was the intent of the message?
2. What words did they use?
3. What were the critical details?
4. Was anything repeated or emphasized?
5. Was there any particular emotion or sense of urgency?

I have found it's a good idea to repeat-back what you thought you heard - give the other person a chance to clarify or correct their message.

Many times delivery or tone is crucial to how you respond-- Quiet, low tone, casual and loosely chosen words, make it harder to read urgency and importance (if that is the underlying intent).

We all respond to orders barked at us, regardless of whether they are well-thought-out, or if there is any real urgency behind them. Unfortunately, it's up to you - if you are trying to writhe a directive out of a poorly delivered message.

Come On, Really?

I hate to bring it up, but sometimes people say things because they expect that is what you want to hear from them, or they feel like something has to be said and no one can check at the time whether the statement is reasonable or not - hence the throw-away "Two weeks" promises from The Money-Pit contractor.

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  Here is a list of things you can do to help make sure you get the message (no particular order):
  
• Watch Body Language - Check out the Fox TV show "Lie To Me"
• Confirm the Message - Does the message make sense with what you know, or can you compare it to what you know? - Reasonableness check
• Summarize the Basics - What are the 3 to 5 most important points the person is trying to get across to you?
• Memorize the Message - If you had to repeat the message back or tell someone else the message you recieved, could you do it?
• The Whole Thing - Got it? - Got it!

I believe there are 3 general levels of "knowing" or understanding a message:

1. Recognition - You know it when you see it.
2. Regurgitation - You can repeat it back as it was told or taught.
3. Reapplication - You can use it or teach it in a different form than you recieved it.

Following on this, the best communication occurs when the deepest level of understanding is achieved. Finding a way to make the message you heard your own, is the first step-----

The other end of the effective-communication process is what YOUR message is (and WHY they should follow or buy-in) - but that is a topic for another blog.


Related Sources
Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath & Dan Heath

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People by Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins

Unrelated Trivia
United States President S. Grover Cleveland (22 & 24) won the popular vote in 3 separate presidential elections, however, he lost the electorial vote to the 23rd US President, Benjamin Harrison. Benjamin's grandfather, William Henry Harrison (9th US President), had the dubious distinction of holding office for the shortest period of any US President in history (30 days), since he died due to contracting pneumonia from giving the longest presidential inauguration speech in history, in the rain.

Like Benjamin's grandfather, it also rained on his inauguration day, but #23 was no fool, he made sure his speech was short, and he got S. Grover Cleveland to hold his umbrella (the big guy left of center holding a top hat is 22/24). Inauguration photo.

The "S." stands for Stephen ---there's the real trivia for you - a US President whose first name is Steve :) --

Customers Count - And You Should Too

Do It Now

Ever go to a restaurant that has great food, but the waitperson seems to be always working on another table, or focused on something besides serving you? And other times you may have been to a restaurant where the food is just OK, but the service is so good that it makes up for it-- Have you had those experiences? And which waiter got the bigger tip?

Customer Service is often a function of the level of attention and energy that is paid to the customer--

How many times, when someone asks us for something, do we add the item to the list of things we are currently working on, while the person asking expected action immediately? My wife will tell you it happens with us all the time. It isn't that we aren't working hard, we just aren't being responsive in the eyes of the asking party.

Can we agree that your "customer" is anyone who asks for something you provide, whether there is direct compensation, or simply a promise?


No objection? Then we'll continue . . . .

The details, from the point of the agreement on, are a matter of prior negotiation-- There is an expectation that the customer will rely on. The trick is to clarify the expectation such that the promise is reasonably achievable in the time frame, for the consideration (money, respect, appreciation, etc.). If there is no agreement, then there is no sale - implied or otherwise.

If Not Now, When?

Time management gurus will argue that it isn't reasonable to stop what you are doing to respond to every request - and most times, they would be right. Just not in the eyes of the customer---Customer requests don't need to be rational-- especially if the customer thinks they paid for, or otherwise deserve the prompt response. The best response would be to proactively manage the customer request - here are a few suggestions:

1. Define the Objective - Use a "go-by" or common standard that works for you ("is something like X okay?")
2. Agree on a Time frame - Make sure it is achievable (or better yet, beatable)
3. Confirm & Follow Up - Do it like Amazon.com does and you will be a hero

Sales trainer Jeffery Gitomer (If you aren't familiar with him, click on this immediately http://www.gitomer.com/ and get caught up - haven't you heard? EVERYBODY SELLS--- if you don't believe it, your competition does and is doing it---) will tell you that simply satisfied customers aren't what you really want - they can be raided by your competition using any number of incidental ploys - you want RAVING FANS.

OK, so how do I get one?

Through Trust

Trust is earned over time, by consistently delivering on promises, and it is earned most successfully by doing something so spectacular that the customer will "never forget" you, and what you did for them. Examples include saving their job, helping them win a client (or almost better, saving them from losing a client), achieving goals they didn't expect, and the list goes on . . . . they could count on you - without specifically telling you what to do. This requires a higher level of thought and effort than just being responsive. It involves thinking ahead as to what the customer needs in the future will be, and delivering on a higher level than the expectation.

Promises, Promises

With projects-- especially large projects-- the commitment that establishes the expectation of a successful outcome is made up of multiple promises, made to many people, every day, for the life of the project. Commitments you make to your customers depend on promises made to you. A babysitter who fails in her promise to be on time, makes you late, which can ruin a whole evening of promises made to friends, etc. I know a superintendent who just won't let an unreasonable commitment stand -- "Tell me exactly how you are going to finish when you say" and "What time can I count on you Friday morning? I will call you ahead of time to make sure, and I will meet you", etc.---Some people are better at making good on their pledges than others -- just as some are more willing to accept "loose promises" from friends or coworkers than others. Why is that?

What Counts?

Accountability is taking responsibility for actions - some recourse for failed actions can be severe. Short of punishment, simply keeping track of how the people you are working with meet their commitments will show how accountable they are. For example, a person makes 5 commitments -- from when they will be at a meeting, to how many people they will bring, to when they will start work, how long they will work and when they will finish that day-- at the end of the day, you will have a good initial sampling of how accountable they are. If they did everything as they said they would, they would have a score of 5/5 - not yet complete trust, but a good start showing a routine of successful commitment. A lesser score would need attention and a score less than say 2/5 might be a sign that you can't count on this team member at all, without significant attitude adjustment and focus on meeting & beating commitments (every one of them - no matter how small).


















As TV's Dr. House would say: "People lie." - Try not to let people lie to you, especially when they don't mean to. A loose commitment to you, passed along to someone else by you - when unmet, becomes a reflection on you (almost like it became "your lie").

5 Ways to Improve Achieving Commitments:

1. Measure Accountability - Regularly share them with the team (friendly competition will force improvement).
2. Make Sure Promises are Reasonable - How Many/How Much/When (how do they compare to historical quantitative information).
3. Examine Risky Commitments - Why is the case special, what extra efforts will be taken to ensure success?
4. Communicate Sensitive Variables - What is outside of control? What would cause the commitments to be missed? What measures are being taken to try to manage the unknowns?
5. Work as Team - Everyone works together to make sure all commitments are met.

Working to gain trust and confidence of customers to choose us to be partners on their project teams is what many of us do every day - responding to customers internally and externally.

Same-Day-Service has been a beacon of aggressive advance promise for years in many industries. For some tasks it is too long, for many in the Design and Construction industry it is too short. But, for most everyday tasks, it seems to be a balance between the customers' need for immediate response and the need to be efficient with your time.

Maybe try responding to customers with "Same-Day-Service" for a few weeks and see what kind of response you get in return. You may find new unexpected rewards in the form of added trust and confidence building among your team--

Trivia:





Salmon P. Chase - US Treasury Secretary under President Lincoln, used "faith and promise" of the US Government to raise money, starting the first US paper currency, to finance and win the Civil War. He also was instrumental in adding "In God We Trust" to US currency. His successes earned him a spot on the $10,000 bill (no longer in circulation). He was one of only three statesmen featured on US paper currency who did not serve as US Presidents - the others being Alexander Hamilton ($10) and Benjamin Franklin ($100). The middle initial stands for Portland-- More info on S. P. Chase: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon_P._Chase